Sunday Chronicles:                9/24/17         

There is nothing like Friday, Saturday and Sunday. They are my jam! Unfortunately when it comes to the weekend I am like a mediocre teenage student doing just enough to get by! Shameful right?….Just about every Monday morning I mourn Friday and I completely detest the thought of my some what lackadaisical  behavior. Why you ask? Well as always I’ll oblige.

As awesome as being a stay at home mom is I often feel like I’m rushing through life waitng on Friday. So periodically throughout the week between cooking, cleaning, last minute homework checks, poopy diapers, laundry and running after kiddos all day (basically all things mom). The day can become pretty overwhelming. Many times making it imparitive for me to have a self pep talk…to talk myself down from the ledge. “Girl relax, enjoy the right now, the kiddos being this young has an expiration date and Im sure one day you’ll miss this”, also accompanied by the occasional cry for Jesus to help me!

 Look! The ‘S’ on my chest is reversible! No smoke and mirrors here, I am human sometimes the pep talk work and other times I am judge and jury sentencing everyone to a much needed nap. Only to wake up just in time to be at the door when dad gets home. Sounds simple enough right? Wrong….in the absence of some good ol’ aged communion juice and a throwback greys anatomy episode this takes both tact and skill! (Lol)

Thankfully this past week wasn’t one of those rare and rough ones. It was pretty average and went smooth for the most part. By Thursday morning I had already gotten the Friday itch and was texting my husband to come home and love me before he had even made it to work (text verbatim). Would you believe he didn’t turn around? Work and make money to provide for your family or stay at home with your wife and toddler?  Lucky for him, Im such a reasonable and understanding wife, so I continued my morning as usual only slightly disappointed. 

That is until a little past noon, I’m in the kitchen making lunch for the kiddos and myself and the doorbell rings. To my suprise its my husband and of course the entire house celebrated. Nothing short of an actual cheer, and if the walls could talk his head couldn’t have gotten any bigger. As we are celebrating the door bell rings again and its our neighbor. After a year of no proper introduction and a few casual conversations in passing, about our old and broken fence we share. I guess the time had apparently come to delebrate on how we would move forward with shared financial responsibility. Instantly I am reminded of a statement our realtor who helped us in purchasing our first home made. 

“You can pick your house but you cant pick your neighbors”. This wisdom was bestowed upon us because our very first home that we fell in love with and might I add could afford, had neighbors with garage doors as their fence….(Shhh…You dont have to say it, I think I know what your thinking). All things considered and needless to say we brought the house! The neighbors to our left never said a word in four years. The neighbors to the right of us, we grew to love and only made me uncomfortable some of the time. In the words of most Kindergarten teachers “Get what you get and dont throw a fit” and most times I didn’t.

But this particular situation on the other hand involved the business of money. This made me a bit apprehensive because understandably so no one wants to be taken advantage of. Immediately into the conversation my husband and I realized this was not going to be your average fence. So as we talked and looked over the numbers, we decided that my husband and I would discuss it further throughout the weekend. We were asked if Sunday we could all sit down and talk and instantly anxiety came. Whooosaaah! Honestly, I really just needed to table the fence talk for a minute, but my husband felt differently and the more he brought it up, the more anxious I became.

I felt forced to accept the necessary conversing of this eight foot cedar board on board fence. In all its glory, it came in like a smooth criminal and invaded my precious weekend. I begin to resent it and all the extra bells and whistles included with it. Making it so budget unfriendly, savings threatening and not to mention its latest offense ‘a weekend murderer’. Yes I can be very dramatic at times! We know this! But seriously by Saturday night I wasn’t any good. My stomach was in knots and with little to no sleep, Sunday, the glorious Sabbath, the day that completely embodies rest, quickly met me with exhaustion. 

By early afternoon as we pulled up to our neighbors house my husband and I said a prayer for guidance in our decision making and quickly made our way up to their humble abode. I am grateful to say peace met me there and I became extremely comfortable with making the right decision for our household! Whatever that may be. And along with building a small rapport with our neighbors, of all things we walked away with a new toaster! Yes! Our neighbors gave us a toaster! How wonderfully random!

 Faithful Monday fininally rolls around  AGAIN and as I was positioning my brand new toaster on my counter, I was gently reminded of daddy Gods goodness. Ironically, despite my knots, nerves and various emotions. By letting go and trusting God I not only walked away with peace and potentially a beautiful fence (if the price is right) but something new that I did not have and had’nt had in at least 7 years. Although I am extremely grateful for my toaster, for me its not at all about the toaster as much as it is My Fathers  intent towards me.

 He sees and knows all of our needs and if he can give me a toaster when Im not asking Oh! the expectation that rises up in my heart when I do open up my mouth to ask. The toaster served as a small reminder to me that I am loved and SO ARE YOU! 

Cheers to Happy neighbors good vibes and a perfectly crispy piece of Toast!


The Subtle

You saw him today but you didnt notice me. I am subtle. And him, well he may or may not have seen you, nothing personal. See most times he just has a lot on his mind, taking much needed time to prepare himself for the daily grind. His seldom tears, fears and insecurities even if you took the time to analyze you would not find, for they are all hid in the subtle.

Just look at him, its obvious the stresses he aquires as sole provider, no wonder he’s so tired. His exhaustion is completely justified because well…he’s been off to work since six and home by five, and the traffic alone is enough to drive the most sane of us crazy. So pleassse forgive his need to check out mentally once he clocks out manually, from that nine to five because honey he is a man with a job. In a time when it is socially acceptable for a man to not work and still eat and all the while maintain his spot in his royal seat….he is a king. He should be praised and he is….praised, but his praise to the natural eye most times lie in the subtle.

 See those pants he wore to work accompanied by his under wear and that nice shirt are all compliments of the subtle. He is clean, he smells good and lets just be honest there is nothing like a good smelling man, especially when his dirty laundry is not in your hands but at home….with the subtle. 

His smile is contagious, charisma magnetic, he can be counted on for a good laugh and so understanding I mean seriously compared to most there is just no comparison. He is a rare specimen and mars is just way to far. Where did this man come from?

 He is great at his job, success is inevitable because he is favored by God and all while he is off being great, the subtle helps him maintain his full plate because well, how else would he manage his own affairs that need tending too? That house, those cars, these children are all the harvest thats ripe from the seeds they both sow but doesnt all take care of themselves you know. 

True enough. There is no doubt they are all attributes to his captivating aura that exudes greatness but only to those with limited awakeness, because from the outside looking in, what you see is what you get but what you fail to notice is the subtle and all she deals with. Its like you kind of figure somethings there but rather draw your own conclusions because you dont really care and you shouldnt the subtle has become immune to it. 

So amongst all the other responsibilities the subtle has to manage knowing whats seen in the eyes of others is to her disadvantage. It is her duty to use every God given opportunity to be seen walking proudly beside her king encouraging him to be great.


Flowers are Life….

     It’s Springtime and my thumbs are literally turning green as I type and I’m sure my mom will be proud! Were getting quite a bit of rain here in Texas and seeing nature’s work of art everywhere has got my inspirational juices flowing! Is this what my life has come too? Its offical, I’m getting old or as the millenuals would so eloquently put it….more like ancient! Speaking of ancient , are you familiar with the little poem “April showers bring May flowers”? There are different versions of this somewhat popular proverb that dates as far back as 1610! Wow!!! So if you dont know it don’t worry it’s totally throwback, and although we are only days away from May who said we have to wait that long for our flowers! 

“Give me my flowers while I’m yet living”

     I remember hearing this particular saying often as a child and my understanding wasn’t completely fruitful. When I was young I never really appreciated having flowers around. Don’t get me wrong I always thought they were pretty, at least most of them but they would eventually die and to spend money on them honestly felt like a waist. I personally would have rather brought a floral shirt instead #fashionislife#floralislife! As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown to appreciate the beauty of them more, enough in fact to spend my hard earned money on them, well my husband’s hard earned money within reason of course #budgetislife!

Home Decor

     Whether placed neatly in a vase to give more of an elegant look or arranged strategically for a centrepiece, fresh flowers does wonders for sprucing up home decor. Longevity may be more important to some so I am not partial to fake flowers I definitely own my share! Last Christmas I did a mix of both fake and real flowers to give my holiday decorations  a natural and fuller look. For the more unconventional decorators you don’t have to limit your flowers to a vase. I used our pumpkins from our favorite Pumpkin Patch last Fall. Those pumpkins weren’t cheap so I used them for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. After Thanksgiving I gutted, cleaned and spray painted them and they housed my Poinsettias for Christmas. Don’t be afraid to stray a bit from your norm. Not that you have to try hard because flowers are naturally pretty. 

Flower Power. No not “Twisted Metal”

     Flowers are very versatile. Did you know there’s way more to flowers than just looking pretty? Fresh flowers in the home are said to help with mental health, energy and promote relaxation. Some flowers are used soley for healing purposes. Aiding ailments such as high cholesterol, anemia, and digestive issues just to name a few. Most edible flowers have healing properties giving a relevantly fresh meaning to the term Flower Power.

Dead Flowers doesn’t have to mean a waist of money!

     For those who aren’t completely convinced. I suggest giving fresh flowers a try at least once. Whether your incorporating them into an office to promote happiness or your home space to promote relaxation. You absolutely have options with ways to use them, even when they’re dead. My goal is to get my garden up and growing this spring as well as a composting bin. I recently found out that dead flowers can be used for composting! Also allowing the flowers to dry out completely they can be used to make potpourri or bath bombs. I am not a florist or flower connoisseur, neither can I name several flowers off the top of my head. However, at this moment in my life I enjoy the beauty of what flowers bring while in my space. Maybe you will too!
Just living is not enough…One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

– Hans Christian Anderson


Lord help me be myself. A brave Jesus girl….

    Have you ever watched a stranger in public or in a car and wondered personal things about their life?……Okay?!? Wait, Maybe I started this off wrong but stick with me I am definitely going somewhere…For instance, are they married or single? Kids or no kids? Why do they look so happy or sad? The guy whose aggressively moving his hands as he talks while driving or the girl talking on the phone and you see her mouth moving a thousand miles a minute but you can’t really tell if she’s really angry or very excited. The kid who sits and gazes out the back window of the car with no emotion at all. Are they ok?….                                        This may or may not be you but it is definitely me. Now some may call this down right nosey, in particular the people who know me. I on the other hand would like to put a pretty pink bow on it and call it INQUISITIVE….(why thank you google)….Nevermind my harmless stalker like  tendencies but I often find myself watching others and sometimes based on their disposition or actions, I can’t help wondering where they are in their life in that moment. 

      The thought never really occurred to me that maybe there was someone asking these very same questions about me. Until with blurred vision while staring out the passenger window of my car I noticed someone notice my tears. Of course I quickly wiped my face and turned my head as it was hard for me to muster even the fakest of smiles. Overwhelmed was simply an understatement. We were out of town celebrating my parents 35th Anniversary and it was barely 24 hours before the trip went sour, and of course I tipped it right over the edge with my dramatic exit. Granted I was 5 months postpartum at the time and a tad bit emotional to say the least, hormonal could be more appropriate but I absolutely hate that word, almost as much as I hate the word HATE. (How ironic is that) Although the dynamics of the situation was some what complex, feelings of being under appreciated and disrespected had been lingering but the diagnosis was simple, my feelings were hurt. You know the normal functional family dysfunctions!                     

       I had a feeling something could go wrong. The week leading up to that weekend was highly anticipated but had not been a walk in the park. I was nervous but not going to celebrate my parents was not an option. So as my husband drove us into San Antonio to get a hotel for the night I begin to reflect. I thought about how that person who saw me in such a tender moment may have wondered what was wrong with me or honestly could have cared less… and though my tears to me spoke volumes of the words I could not verbally express, to them or anyone else they were only but a mere whisper, but clearly I was unraveling.

     After we settled in our room my son and my husband left to pick up our food. I didn’t have much of an appetite but I anxiously awaited for them to return. The busyness of my 5 month old daughter while in the state I was in, awkwardly felt like to much to handle alone, she was her normal self so happy and unbothered….”Oh the joys of being a child. Finally for what felt like forever, my husband and son came back with dinner. The Tv pretty much watched us as we ate and even though Mexican food is LIFE I just couldn’t make myself eat. After everyone finished up we got the kiddos ready for bed. Before going to sleep himself my husband begin to tell me about the car ride to pick up the food and how my 3 yr old son was concerned about whether mommy was ok. Unfortunately he was present during the heated family discussion. He saw the tears and heard the yelling, in my yearning for someone to see, hear and understand my feeling of being misunderstood.  I forgot about my babies. As my husband begin to talk about their conversation an immediate sadness came over me. That sadness would be the cherry on top of what I already was feeling, but what he said next has such a redeeming power that til this day it still has a stronghold on me. My son asked his dad if they could pray for me. ME. Mommy, the one praying for every one else, kissing everyone’s else’s booboos. The prayer he lead out for me was so simple and sweet “Lord help mommy be herself a brave Jesus girl”. My son despite how he saw me in that moment didn’t define mommy by that moment. He wanted me to be brave enough to be myself! Im a Jesus Girl! That night as everyone slept I tossed and turned replaying the family disagreement in my head, the more I thought about it the more misunderstood i felt, the less serious it seemed, and the more I begin to feel like I overreacted, not wrong for feeling how I felt but there was definitely a better way to convey those feelings.        

     That next morning it was business as usual and although I hadn’t  got much rest, I was game for making the best out of the day for my family. We got dressed grabbed a bite to eat and decided to take the kid to Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch in San Antonio, Texas…a drive thru Safari where you can buy food for the animals and feed them as they walk up to your car!  For me it was a welcomed distraction from the events of the day before. We stayed for a couple hours before heading home. It was amazing and the kid was stoked to say the least! The ride home was cool we kept it light and as fun as a road trip can be when you have two kiddos in one car for several hours. Our sanity came and went a couple times but we managed to make it home all in one piece! Honestly, feelings were still a little shaky with family for the next couple weeks and I personally wanted the awkwardness over but still didn’t know how I felt completely. No different from any other families, you have disagreements or sometimes fight but continue to Love because you are FAMILY. It’s been a little over 6 months now since the trip and the revelation of my now 4 yr old’s sweet little prayer is still working in and on me. His prayer has become apart of my forever prayer for myself. “Lord help mommy be herself a brave Jesus girl”. Out of the mouth of babes…..

“Everyone you encounter is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind always”

– unknown


365 to 30…My Year of Yes!

Seriously….who has pissed Father Time off!?! It feels like the years are flying by, food is tasting better, its obvious I’m  enjoying it way to much and my clothes are getting tighter, all the while 30 is nipping at my heels. Ouch!!!….Nevertheless nipped heels and all I am determined to make this year count! 

 “30s the New 20 I’m so hot still…”

– JayZ

…Yeah probably not. I mean I wouldn’t say it’s completely untrue I am still hot! …but 29 surely does not feel like 19. I’m  10 yrs older, 8yrs into my marriage, one whole husband and two kids later and everything looks and feels different but it’s all good. I brag different!

As I think back on years past, not in regret but rather in awe by way of Grace. I’ve come a long way! Honestly, anything before 20 for me is quite the blur. 21, 22 and 23  were a bit of a whirl wind as those were the early years in my Marriage. Yes. I am that girl I got married young…a little rant for the people with the side eye every time I mention I got married at 20.(i digress). Years 24, 25 and 26 I literally cried my eyes out. Why?  Simply because I felt old. I think it’s safe to say it was a premature mid life crisis or me just being a drama queen but I put my big girl panties on and manned up. Year 27 and 28, no more tears… and 29 I continued in that tradition. As for 3o, well I’ll worry about that when the time comes. (Lol)

Sadly over the past couple years I’ve seen one too many of my 30 and below family, friends and classmates pass away. So for me to see another birthday is a blessing that I will continue to count. More than anything I feel I owe it to myself to step out and do all the things I’ve wanted to do for years but allowed paralyzing fear to stop me. Every time my creative juices would get to flowing and I’d get excited and inspired, just as soon as it felt possible, I’d be met with an overwhelming flood of thoughts of perpetuating doubts and insecurities. Reassuring myself that if nothing else, I’ll bust my butt to be a bomb wife and mother. I was willing to settle, not that being a Stay at home wife and mother is settling in itself because its not… hands down HARDEST job EVER. But to not explore what else I have in me to offer would be doing my family as well as myself a disservice. 

I remember somewhere between years 24 and 25, I had recently given birth to my son and at the time we stayed with my parents for 8 weeks so I’d have help with my son while recovering from toxemia. I was so consumed with anxiety sitting on my parents couch, watching tv and listening to an interview of Joyce Meyers speaking about a book she had titled “Do it afraid”. Unfortunately, to this day I have never got a chance to read the book as I intended to but the title of the book alone has managed to stick with me throughout the years. I am certain it will play a major role as a declaration for me this year. I know through this journey the fear won’t necessarily be nonexistent but my will to continue moving forward will always be present. I’m  getting my Shonda Rhimes on, 29 will be my “Year of Yes”…Another great title of a book I have yet to read, that has spoken to me before even turning a page! (FYI reading still is fundamental) Although it may not seem like it, I love to read and this year I will make more time for reading! Although my NO isn’t always verbal, I have told myself NO for way to long, by way of fear, doubt and procrastination.

My Year of Yes is not about sinking or swimming, losing or winning in the eyes of spectators. It’s a God thing! Following my heart not without reservations but inspite of them. Even now I am saying Yes to me and finally releasing this 6 month old Blog that I’ve been sitting on.. This is the first step into my Year. Happy birthday to me!

“Give yourself permission to be great. There is greatness in you”


Cigarette, Xanex and a glass of mascoto…

Beware Mom Rant….

 The grocery store trip from hell would be an understatement. Honestly, this is to be expected when I deter from my plans with an infant and a toddler on deck. I should have known no good would come of this, I simply wasn’t prepared. The melt down my 3yr old had in the parking lot because I made him throw away his smashed up plastic fireman hat he got 2 weeks ago  and hadn’t seen since, was definitely a telltale sign that this spare of the moment trip was going to go bad. Of course me being the relatively crazy person I am “Ughh Ummm” (clears throat)….allow me to introduce myself…Hi I am SuperMom and I was determined to run in and run out (is there really a such thing with kiddos)


“No thank you” to the kind lady offering me a basket outside the store, “I wont be here long”….yeah right, what was I thinking. Im suppose to be somewhat of a vet at this stay at home mom thing but against my better judgement I went with it….Crossing the threshold of the automatic doors with my 3 yr old to my right, my 3 mth old peacefully in her stroller and 2 minutes into the shopping trip…Boom!!!.. She’s screaming at the top of her lungs and homegirl lungs are built like Beyonce’s, Im talking 0 to 100. I tried feeding her but it didnt work. One arm pushing the stroller the other holding the bottle but Queen B wasnt having it. By this time the 3 yr old begins to crumble right before my eyes, theres tears, theres laughter and a bunch of other emotions. Inside theres an exhausted little person but he persisted to fight the obvious. 

Im torn over the type of cheese my husband needs for dinner and at this point my nerves are shot

 For a split second I pictured myself running right out of those automatic doors. I could always attempt to try this again when the hubby gets home. As Im typing its all becoming some what of a blur but 30 minutes, 4 concerned elderly women, 3 toddler meltdowns, 2 unanswered phone calls to the hubby and a stroller full of stuff later…… Im crossing that same threshold, walking through those very same automatic doors yelling at my 3 yr old who is more interested in the guy painting the store than the vehicle I see coming to the right of us

 My thoughts as Im walking to my car pushing a stroller with my left hand, holding a 24 pack of Ozarka water in my right and pleading with my son to walk in front of me. I really could go for a cigarette right about now…..”What”? I dont even smoke and I hate taking a tylenol for a headache let alone a xanex but a glass of wine…thats a little more realistic.

 At midnight even bad days come to an end”                                                                             – Ms Moem


Blog at

Up ↑